Just a little silliness!

It’s August, the middle of August in Florida to be exact. It’s hot, muggy, oppressive, and very un-inspiring.  This last week has really been a humdrum of motivation!    I realized this week marks the 5th year at my current job, a true landmark since I have never lived in one place for that long, let alone stayed at one job.  So I guess a mini-celebration is in store… yay!   Hey, I finally get bumped up to 3 weeks paid vacation.  I already have Gulf Wars and Pensic marked off, with formal vacation requests put in.  Something to look forward to in the up coming year.

On another note, as I was trying to stay cool, this evening I spent some time on the couch applying Gel-Nail polish.  They have recently come out with some fun colors, and I picked up a beautiful Lapiz blue… and of course a sparkly over coat.  Now, to many women out there, the act of putting polish on your nails is a common everyday whop-d-do.  But 3 years ago I did not have any nails… well okay, I had nail stubs.  Since I can remember I chewed the heck out of my nails, all the way down, to the quick and sometimes beyond.  My child hood is littered with memories of my Mother bribing me to stop.  I could get a radio if I did not chew my nails for a month… I’d stop, for a month, get the radio and then promptly start biting them off!  Or She’d take me to the movies if I let my nails grow out past the tip of my finger. Alas, we never went to the movies.

As some of you know, when you area habitual nail biter… your nails are thin.  When they do grow they peel, break, or tear super easy.  No amount of “nail hardener” works, it’s a gimmick and a joke.

Nor does the “taste bad” nail polish stuff.  It comes off just as easily as the nail does, and it does not taste that bad :).

Nail biting is a habit, plain and simple. There is just as much psychological issues mixed up with nail biting as there is the physical.  Its an expression of anxiety, a nervous twitch so to speak.  I can tell you, no one looks at their nails and says “Hmmm I think I will chew these off now”.  HA.  Most of the time I never even realized when I was doing it. I’d catch myself in the car, reading a book, in class, at work when waiting…  Even today my Husband will tell me to take  my hand out of my mouth (I asked him to do it, don’t worry) when we are driving.

So if it is a habit what made me decide to stop?  My brothers wedding.  I went over for my older-middle brother’s wedding and opted not to go with the girls to the salon, I had no nails. I was ashamed. Because of that shame I did not get to spend that time with my nieces or my new sister in law. Simple as that.

I decided to try and stop.

Remember I said it’s a nervous habit and you don’t realize you are doing it.  Its kind of hard to stop something if you don’t realize until it is to late that you are doing it.

So I went down to the crappy chain nail-salon, and had acrylic nails placed.  I admit it, they were poorly done and incredibly bulky, but hey you can’t chew those suckers… trust me I tried.  For me it was simple as that. I could not chew them, they were to hard.  I was able to paint them daily with different colors.  I was in 7th heaven!!! I finally, after 30 years, was able to paint my nails.  Such a simple pleasure, and one I finally could take part it.  I was like a kid in the candy store at Sally’s beauty supply.  I got really good at doing french manicures, and I don’t stick with the traditional!

One thing I have realized, I am obsessed with my nails.  If they are not perfectly smooth, if they have a chip, or a catch, or are uneven, all I want to do is chew them till they are perfect.   They have to be smooth.  No matter what.  It is a left over aspect of having no nails… after all pure skin is smooth, does not chip, and does not catch fabric!

It is now 3 years later, with the help of pregnancy hormones my nails regained strength and I no longer need acrylic nails.  I admit it, I have fallen off the band wagon many times, I have caused myself pain (ironically it never hurt to chew my nails before!).   But I love to paint my nails. I hope to pass this on to my daughter, one of these day’s she may sit still enough to do her nails too.

I still can’t bring myself to go up to the local nail salon and have a manicure done, I have done it once or twice in the past and I just could not justify the cost.  So when they came out with the Gel-nails at home, I was ecstatic and jumped on that band wagon.  Granted because of my obsessive nature over my nails I end up redoing them every week (instead of the 2 recommended on the package), it sure beats having stubs as nail tips!  I have also actually gone for a couple months with no polish, and no (okay minimal) nail biting incidences.

Habits are hard to break, especially when there are psychological or chemical dependence on them.    Biting my nails was not a life threatening habit, nor did it harm anyone but me.  But I am incredibly proud that I have been working to overcome it.

Besides, taking product or example pictures are so much nicer when my hand does not look like an Ogre’s. LOL.

Now that evening has set in, and it has cooled down in our muggy part of the world.  Off to take my perfectly manicured hands and turn on the sewing machine.  Maybe some fun pictures will come of it?  We’ll see.


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